Warm weather is here, and that means three things: some people will play basketball outdoors, other people will not play basketball outdoors, and a third group of people will think about the two options and waver somewhere between, perhaps eventually deciding to buy ice cream cones (not the ice cream, just the cones). Granted, there are a lot more important summertime topics, but I am finding that nothing represents people more than the basketball hoops they have outside their homes. Except for maybe their jobs. And their Facebook profiles. And their pets. But we can save those for another day...
First, we have those people with the very shiny, new basketball hoops, typically found in people's driveways near their garage doors. While the first inclination would be to praise the owners of these basketball hoops for keeping them so neat and clean, the reality is that they are only neat and clean because they are not used... at all... by anyone. Having an unused basketball hoop is like having a Scrabble board without tiles, or like having Scrabble tiles without the Scrabble tile holder, or like having a basketball net but no ball, only tiles. That said, people should make the effort to do whatever it takes to make their basketball hoops seem used in order to add to their own athletic credibility. I recommend scrubbing off some paint or partially tearing the net. This is "street cred," as they say in the street. It is also known as "ruining a perfectly good basketball hoop for the purpose of looking more athletic," as they also say in the street...
The opposite extreme is a basketball hoop that is in such bad shape that the backboard is completely shattered, the pole is bent or the net itself is completely frayed. Some may say that these belong to people who are big-time athletes. So big, they would add, that the upkeep of the basketball hoop is not even possible. While that is a possibility, the more likely reason for the hoop in poor condition is that the person who used it is now twenty years older than he or she was when the hoop was first installed. The logical thing to do, seemingly, would be taking down the hoop and replacing it with something less basketball-looking, like a fern. However, people with old hoops like to remind people that at one time they played basketball -- and they were good. And you could verify that by reading their blogs except there were no blogs when these people played basketball, so you will just have to assume that they were good...
Soon, when the weather gets colder, people won't have basketball hoops to use as reference points. So they should learn everything they can about people now before the snow covers the evidence. One day, another sport -- mini golf, perhaps -- may replace the prominence of outdoor basketball on a summer day. Until then, start a blog about your legendary status. It may be important in twenty years...
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